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Computing & Technology > Blogging > Excellent


Like those people who stare at the dead bodies of fallen birds, or road-squashed raccoons and other animals, I have trouble resisting looking at the domains I see sold -- and thinking it means something more, under the surface.

I'm autopsying the sales of domains.

Of course it usually does mean something, and often not good. For instance, the hatemonger Milos Yiannopolll — oh help Teal, I can’t spell that — just purchased the domain name Hatred.com. Or so I read on a forum. He paid $138,000, so they say. Just imagine what a good, friendly, non-whining website he will make of it. Ack.

Another instance of a weird thing is that I found a trend among dentists, who chose to name their practices using the word “Excel” in them. There are tons of them, which you can see if you just google "excel dentist." After searching, I felt pretty sure that there was a tooth whitener called Excel, and maybe they were getting partnership/branding benefits by agreeing to use this name and popularize it. Still not sure.

Then I found doctors naming their medical practices using “Excel” in the name. There are too many of them for coincidence. What’s going on? There is at least one big company called Excel-Medical, but you usually only choose a name with a hyphen if you can’t get the one you want. I wonder why they didn’t try a different version. Apparently “excel medical” is precisely the phrase they wanted. When I look up some stats on the searches, I don’t find people looking for that phrase in high numbers. Why would anyone search for a phrase like "excel medical" or similar, anyway? (unless you're me.)

I’m still asking myself why doctors want to use this word to name their practices. What is the benefit? It is not naturally associated with medicine.

And then — but this is more natural — there are all these fitness centers using the word “Excel” in their names. This is a much more logical thing. After all, fitness devotees are looking for self-improvement, self-perfection, and want to excel, almost as if they were competing with themselves.

But all this use of the word starts to make me darkly suspect a plot, somewhere, somehow. Social Darwinism and all that. That we will be weighed in the balance and judged… That someday in the future we are all going to be expected to excel, not merely exist —

and we will get driving privileges and voting privileges and medical care only if we have demonstrably striven to excel and be our very best selves…..

and if we don’t….

Okay, time to stop this nonsense and get a drink. It’s brandy o’clock.

posted on June 27, 2017 4:02 PM ()


Until you wrote about this stuff, I was unaware of all of it. Meanhile, the fellow who bought that web stuff appears to be the alt right activist Milo Yiannopoulos, born Milo Hanrahan in England and why he would switch to a Greek name is beyond me. And the name means Yianno or Yiannis, Greek version of John, and poulos, meaning son of. My Greek last name at birth was Triantafilopoulou, poulou being the feminine ending. What's in a name. of course we shortened it to get through life in the states.
comment by tealstar on June 28, 2017 5:22 PM ()
Thanks for the translation, I figured you'd have one. My job in life now is to tell people about internet things too boring to contemplate. So my family hints.
reply by drmaus on June 28, 2017 8:11 PM ()
I can't believe the Hatred domain name but I bet I know who will use it.
All the fascists on facebook. ExcelJane doesn't sound bad to me.
comment by elderjane on June 28, 2017 7:59 AM ()
Sounds good to me.
reply by drmaus on June 28, 2017 9:23 AM ()
You sure know how to raise issues that at least some of us didn't know what we don't know about. (huh?). If I was trying to locate a doctor I'd google his or her name and the name of their affiliate clinic/hospital if I knew it. Interesting stuff!
comment by jjoohhnn on June 28, 2017 5:49 AM ()
It's slowly dawning on me what a deep dark secret the business world is carrying on when they create brands. I still think some big conglomerate or other is paying them to name their practice this way. Other domain sellers weren't aware of this thing with the word excel, and I only ran across it when 3 different dentists emailed wanting to buy a domain that began with the word.
reply by drmaus on June 28, 2017 9:20 AM ()
You mean I have to change from GreatMartin to ExcelMartin???
comment by greatmartin on June 27, 2017 8:25 PM ()
I was about to say Yes. But what about Martin the Great?
reply by drmaus on June 27, 2017 9:34 PM ()
The power company in quite a bit of Colorado is Xcel Energy - they had that name before "Excel" as you describe it became so trendy. Our propane company changed its name to Agfinity from Agland about the time that Xfinity was coming into its own, and I pictured those farmer types trying to brainstorm a new name and some bimbo thinks Xfinity with its 'the future of awesome' tagline sounds so progressive, and they can't think of anything else so they agree on Agfinity and go home to the feedlot.
comment by troutbend on June 27, 2017 6:24 PM ()
And all the neighbors probably think of it as Gagfinity anyway.
reply by drmaus on June 27, 2017 9:35 PM ()

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