Apr 27, 2013
A Good Husband....A man wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.He sits do...
Apr 18, 2013
A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days ...
Mar 28, 2013
It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it ...
Mar 28, 2013
I want to go back to a time when:Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo's."Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!""Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.Money...
Mar 25, 2013
During an hour's swimat a public swimming pool, you are bound to ingest 1 and a 1/2 liters of urine. In an average day, your hands could have come into indirect contact, with 15 penises (touching door...
Mar 25, 2013
Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers.The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.Finally I thought...
Mar 22, 2013
A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peel off prize. She pulls off the tab and yells, 'I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home,...
Mar 22, 2013
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe thes...
Mar 21, 2013
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.I bought my wife a new car.She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."I said, "Where's the car?"She said, "In the lake."The secre...
Mar 14, 2013
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'His wife was not ...
Mar 14, 2013
A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 yearsHe breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convi...
Mar 4, 2013
The teacher asks little Johnny, "If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, "S...
Feb 8, 2013
A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What'...
Feb 8, 2013
John hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!He went home and told his w...
Feb 6, 2013
Ad in newspaper today:SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship for Valentine's day, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good kisser, and a girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, rid...
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