Mark

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Mark
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Little Neck, NY
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09/29/1950
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Education > Early Childhood > Let's Play with the Animals
 

Let's Play with the Animals


The New York City Parks Department is sorry to announce it will be closing the Queens Farm Petting Zoo in Floral Park at the Eastern edge of Queens. This iconic petting zoo that has thrilled children for decades will be shut down until further notice effective immediately. Mayor De Blasio has said the staggering number of injuries has forced the Parks Dept. to take this unpopular but necessary action. With the latest rabid raccoon bite earlier this month on an unsuspecting toddler from Rocky and deep lacerations from Pauline,the porcupine's sharp quills, it has become apparent that "more safety measures must be met" according to Parks Commissioner, Smokey Berenstain.

Back in April in the "Slithering Friends" area had it's first life threatening health scare when Roger the Rattlesnake took a liking to a half inch of skin in the groin area of a 3rd grader visiting with his school, Dick Long. Fortunately, a farm worker hearing Dick's screams ran over to suck out the poison possibly saving the terrified child's life. The Queens Farm and Dick's family is forever indebted and "deeply" thankful to Lynette Lovelace for her quick actions before the poison could enter the bloodstream.

Not even the kiddie pool was safe with several children having numerous excruciating stings by the farm's usually docile jelly fish and Portuguese man-of-war. Not making a splash anymore were the shark bites from the usually friendly Chakaris Pool which concerned many of the parents visiting the zoo. it turned out petting piranha and lion fish were not good ideas.Many members of a class of kindergartners received deep puncture wounds from petting Snoodle , the snapping turtle. Zoo associates had no choice but to euthanize the usually timid Snoodle who animal psychologists were saying was just coming out of his shell. As a reward for their bravery, many of the injured boys and girls went home with a complimentary cup of turtle or shark fin soup.

At the Crocodile Rock Rotunda, several tykes were poking fun and poking fingers at these young reptiles. Many required plastic surgery and skin graft on their hands after their bullying behavior. Lawsuits against the Queens farm were dropped as defense lawyers argued that these young thugs provoked the crocodiles who were found innocent by a grand jury. In another part of the farm, it was no laughing matter when several boys and girls had their noses nipped more than from Jack Frost by an overly zealous baby striped hyena.

In the Big Bird Aviary, some first graders were inflicted with some very serious wounds from residents including the baby eagle, falcon, hawk, condor,and great horned owl. But the children did learn a lot about bird lifestyles and their defense mechanisms. All children leaving the Big Bird Aviary were handed duck confit salads to bring home to their parents or significant others.

With the closing of the Queens Farm Petting Zoo, a new arachnid exhibit featuring hands on interaction with tarantulas, black widows, brown recluse spiders, scorpions,and other arachnids is set to open in the fall just before Halloween and the fiery hay rides open for their 2017 schedules. The Queens Farm will continue to be a destination beloved by children everywhere. Tickets to the arachnid exhibit can be purchased on line at 8LEGS.com


posted on June 16, 2017 4:34 PM ()

Comments:

Mark, you did it again. Let us send all the trump spawn to the petting zoo. You always crack me up.
comment by elderjane on June 17, 2017 4:33 AM ()
What can I say....oh ya...
comment by nittineedles on June 16, 2017 5:16 PM ()

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